The Show Must Go On - and Blessings through it all

Friday we went to the eye doctor. What I thought would be the usual routine visit changed very quickly. First stressor: They dialated Aaron's eyes. It was a twenty minute ordeal to get him to take the drops and I finally resorted to bribing. Yes, I caved. The eye tech lady said it was painless so I parroted that over and over again as we struggled to get Aaron to keep his hands from covering his eyes. Then in swooped the new eye doctor who put the eye drops on his closed eyes and then told him to open up. Which to my surprise, Aaron did. Then he screamed. Evidently the no pain line given by the eye tech lady was a hoax that I unwittingly played a part in. The guilt.

Next came the appointment - second stressor. In about two nanoseconds it was apparent that something wasn't right with Aaron's vision. I sat there thinking - no, we have enough on our plates. With the cathing every two hours and medicine and the enemas every night. Nothing new... please. Then I heard the words amblyopia and eye- patch. I almost teared up right there. But, it wasn't too bad. Aaron can just wear it at home only and only for two -four hours a day. Ok, here was a silver lining that I can get my head around. After all he can play pirate. As I drove home, Queen played on my IPod and I heartened myself to the music of "The Show Must Go On".

Well, you try telling my strong willed, firefilled boy that he's a pirate who can sit really close to the t.v. when he doesn't want to be a pirate. The pirate thing was a no-go after he figured out that - hey...with a patch over his eye He Can't See! Ugh. So we tried bribing him with money, but evidently the supply and demand principal doesn't work when an eye patch is concerned. Toy swords, video games, special costumes or anything at the other end of an hour of patchwork also doesn't work.

By Monday morning I am feeling a little tired. After all the patch war has been waged at each usage for the last couple days and so far it is a stalemate. On top of this, Aaron's delicate internal balance was messed up by too much pizza over the weekend and a neglected enema on Friday night. I had to renig the swimming promise today due to this unforseen medical necessity. He was very upset at this and announced that "It just isn't fair". I agreed and felt the guilt/helplessness/frustration that comes sometimes with being a parent of a child with "special needs".

So, I left the room sat down in a chair and just started balling. Isaac is my silver lining in human form and he found me and asked what was wrong. I told him that sometimes it was hard to not get upset that Aaron has to live with Spina Bifida. Isaac looked at me and said he wasn't sorry. He has met lots of great friends that otherwise he would not have met.

I listened to Isaac and thought how Isaac sees the good things that have happened because of this part of our lives when I was only seeing the dark. His sincerity and momentary jump into an ultra adult like clarity made me warm inside. I love that kid. Over and Over Isaac has made us laugh when we needed it most. He is always ready to welcome a new friend. He is always ready to help out when asked. Isaac doesn't always get the most attention, but he doesn't complain. God blessed us with both kiddos, but Isaac was a special gift. The gift of laughter, understanding and the silver lining.

By the way, Isaac only has to wear his eyeglasses when he needs to see the whiteboard or a film at school. Nathan also wanted it noted that he made Aaron a very cool eyepatch out of leather. It was cut and tied by hand. My husband to do anything!

As soon as their way cute new eyeglasses come in, I will post pics.

Can Aaron walk in his Father's Pants?

Why does a little boy want to wear his father's clothes? Is it the constant want/need to feel like daddy and the wonderful blessing to be idolized by a child? Or is it to show the adult, that yes....kids are a whole lot leaner?

He's thinking. I can fit two of me in here comfortably, Daddy.

They Played Me Like a Fiddle

Often I have heard the wishings from moms with toddlers that their children are just so young, needy and, well, always right on top of a mother's every move. I, too, occasionally felt the walls pressing in around me when I had 2/5 year olds or 3/6 year olds. But this year things seemed to get easier in many ways. Isaac can really help clean the house now and Aaron can be kept busy "helping" long enough not to bother his brother. This is one of the great joys of older children. Now there is a down side. With age and maturity comes the ability to plot against their mother.

Yesterday, I stood at the kitchen counter preparing grated cheese for our lunch of Hebrew National Hot Dogs ( Yes, we love them). My sweet, kind Isaac came into the kitchen, looked at me with a slight frown on his face and stated he needed to talk with me in his room. Now, I have been known to be less than accomodating in matters like this, but I suddenly thought that being 8, he might need a little privacy. After all, living with Aaron isn't always easy. I followed Isaac to his room passing Aaron as we went. Aaron announced to me that he would stay out in the living room while we talked. I was now becoming seriously impressed. Aaron is the boy who never wants to be alone. He follows me everywhere. When he isn't with me then you can bet that he will be hooked to Nathan's side or pestering Isaac.

Here I was thinking that Aaron was showing some mighty consideration for Isaac's feelings. I was also sure that Isaac had reached a new level of maturity. I was now envisioning a tender moment of mother/son time where I could impart advice to my growing boy.

Isaac sat down on his bed and looked at me - brown eyes wide with emotion - and said...."Mom, do you know that I hurt my toe this morning." My first thought was...Is he serious. He wants to delve into the reasons for a hurt toe. And then it all clicked.

Cheese, yes Cheese. Both boys had asked for some moments before this "hurt toe" conversation. I had said no to them and told them to wait. I turned and went back to the kitchen fully expecting to find Aaron yellow handed. What I found was an almost empty cheese plate.

I yelled for Aaron and began searching. I knew he was close by because all the cheese wasn't gone yet. So, I followed the cheese trail to Aaron's room and there he sat at the back of his bunkbed with two large handfuls of cheese and (if you don't mind the pun) a very cheesy grin.

He gave the cheese back of course and we did get to eat it on the hotdogs. But as we ate, I was struck with the knowledge that my two sons, the children I helped to bring into this world, that I provide for, that I love had played me and had played me well!

It is interesting to note that right this very minute I heard crackling of plastic coming from the kitchen. Aaron is getting himself some more cheese.

Aaron's Story

Two years ago this June I was in an in-service on using technology in the classroom and the instructor told us to create something that was personally motivated. I think the point was a personal experience will motivate the learner more. So, I created a movie about the most changing personal experience I have had to date. This movie has been sitting on a flash drive for two years, but Nathan finally cleared our desk off and I found it. It is a small look at how I felt/ feel about the experiences Nathan and I have shared in raising Aaron so far.

For squimish viewers there is one picture of Aaron's lesion when he was first born. Be forewarned. :-) But it is not that yucky - I promise.

Me Made Over

I had the great priviledge of spending this week with Aaron, alone. Usually, it is two boys in tow who play, fight and use each other for company. But this week, it was just Aaron and me.

I have always known that Aaron is more like me than Isaac. Isaac is his Dad done over,but not until this week did I know how much Aaron really is like me.

He is drama laden. He plays dramatically and he lives dramatically. He is very linguistic and remembers songs and sayings that he has only heard once and he repeats them with the right intonation and dramatic emphasis.

This week he came up to me and asked if he could have a cereal straw because all you have to do is "Sip, Dip and Munch" then he told me it was "part of a a days balanced breakfast". Hmmmm... where have I heard those lines before.

He also very seriously told me that we would have to get our "new item" while supplies last. I just stared at him for this, because the t.v. wasn't even on at the time and I couldn't figure out what the item was.

Next, I came into a room where he was all alone, but he was talking. He was adamantly pointing at the table and saying "You're just a kid like the rest of us, quit being our mom." It took only seconds to recognize the last Avatar episode he had watched.

I have also gotten used to hearing Earth! Wind! Fire! Water! yelled through the house as he brandishes his ninja swords and sabers. Aaron relives every story he sees or hears. I vividly remember doing the very same thing. I was Princess Leia hiding from Storm Troopers and for a while I replayed a scene from Magnum P.I. in which I was a psychotic woman with two personalities. I loved that scene and if I knew which episode it was on I would find a way to download it.

I think my favorite resaying of Aaron's is Edmund saying "You bowled it" from the Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe. Often ,when something goes wrong, we will say "You bowled it" to one another.

Yes, Aaron gets the drama honestly. And I am glad to join in.

Time Flies...Always

Goodness, my days are flying by so far this summer. The odd thing is that we really haven't done anything wonderfully exciting yet. We are just living life.

In the past week, we have interviewed and hired a new caregiver for Aaron. Like everything Aaron, it hasn't been simple. We get these lovely respite hours from Medicaid each month. Because the State is involved in this matter there is a lot of paper work and more paper work. Did I mention, there was paperwork? I have spent a couple days dealing with that mess and I hope everything is in place next week when Aaron and Isaac spend their first two days with her.

We have also been working very hard with Aaron's continence. I still haven't given the world the full story of Aaron, but if you don't know him...Here is the short of it. He lives with Spina Bifida. This is a genetic defect that has affected his bowels and bladder the most, so continence to us means to be socially dry. This involves intermittant catherization every two hours during the day. We have discovered this week that even a little caffeine effects this. Basically, this means that my life has been broken down into two hour intervals and I spend 15 minutes of those two hours coaxing Aaron in and out of the bathroom. Sometimes it goes smoothly and other times my blood pressure rises and I can feel my skin begin to crawl from the stress of getting him to cooperate.

Besides those two things, we have gone to the pool a couple times. Isaac is spending this week at Cub Scout Day Camp and Nathan is studying, so I am doing just about all the housework. However, I still don't take out the trash. As far as I am concerned that is definitely the man's job. Just a little of my old fashioned nature coming out, I guess.

And my ultimate accomplishment so far this summer.... I have finally made dental appointments for me and the children. Yippee....

So, here we are living life. Maybe we're not living it to the fullest this week but I think there are times when just living is just fine.

Harriet

Our newest edition to the family is Harriet. She came to us last November. I was driving home and had just entered our housing edition, when I spotted the cutest little ball of fur. She reminded me of the three cocker spaniels I had growing up. I watched her sniff her way around a mail box as I drove by. Then the idea that this little bundle had lost its home, so I turned the car around and drove up to her. I opened the car door and commanded "Come Here". She looked up at me and ran to the car, jumped in and looked at me as if to ask where are we going.

I had both boys with me at the time, and so I asked them to check to make sure it was a girl. It had a pink collar, but I know that I would find it it funny to put the wrong color collar on Pete, so I am sure someone else would also think it was funny. The boys checked and proclaimed her a boy. Well, that was that. I will not have another boy dog - ever. So, we took Harriet home and I started calling Vet offices. No one had reported the sweet thing missing. Meanwhile, Harriet met the other two dogs and my children were telling me that HE would be a great addition. I was not to be thrwarted, however. I put my boys back into the car and we went to the vet. I just knew a dog of this caliber would have a chip that would tell us who the owner was.

On the way to the Vet, the boys named her Harry after Harry Potter. Unfortunately the Vet office found no chip and also proclaimed her to be a boy. But to her credit, she only inspected her from a distance.

Soooo.....later that night, I was eating dinner with my parents - new dog in tow, of course. After all, HE might not feel comfy at our house alone. I decided to play a little with our new Harry and rolled HIM over to rub his tummy. As I scratched, my finger hit something large and round and white. This did not seem right. Not long after, my mom and I figured out Harry was a girl.

Harry became Harriet. No one ever called us to claim her and now she is ours. I have never heard her bark at anything, and yet she has quickly cowed Pete. She always gets to eat first and she gets first pick of the crates when it is time to go to bed.

Please, without further ado...meet Harriet. She sits up to get cheese which is her favorite food and she is very cute. Sorry about the color on these. I am not sure why I couldn't get a good pic, so these will have to do for now.

Introducing Pistol Pete the Pug

This picture pretty much says it all for Pete. Right now he is curled at my feet and is still. This will last about 3 minutes. Normally, he likes to run, lick, chase Natasha,eat anything left out and protect the front porch through the front window.

Pete and I have a love/hate relationship. He loves me all the time and I usually want to be rid of him. I once announced this to the family and big crocodile tears fell from Isaac's eyes as he cried that we couldn't get rid of a family member. So, Pete stays and I am preparing to buy stock in Resolve Carpet Cleaner and Pet deodorizer.

He is occasionally good for a laugh. I find it really amusing to watch him tear around the living room in circles for absolutely no reason.

Our Dog Day Lives

Isaac wanted me to show the cyberworld our dogs. So before the end of the post you will be blessed to meet the first lady of the dog world. As I searched frantically for the flash drive that holds all our pictures, I began to think about how our lives right now are alot like a dog's life. Thursday was the last day of school and we lost no time in immediately jumping into our summer schedule. That means, of course, sleeping til after 8, resting when we want to rest and playing when we want to play. We even went to see a movie on a Thursday night. We are living on the edge!!!!!

So, like the dogs in our house we have very little to worry us at the present moment. Don't get me wrong, we do manage to keep some resposibility during the summer. I have a couple trainings to attend, while my ever quizzical husband is teaching me all about triangular numbers. He is currently taking a master's level mathematics course in number theory. Isaac has a couple camps to attend and Aaron is hanging out with the family - his last two months before school officially makes him a kindergartener.

Ok, Here is the oldest and most wonderful dog in the world. Nathan and I bought her right after we were first married. She is almost 12 years old and was born on the 4th of July. She is smart and self assured. She house trained in one day. She never barks, unless hungry. She never growls without a reason. The one time she had a reason, Nathan's bike was being stolen from our front porch. She is the German Shepherd - Natasha Jo!

Here is Natasha "the Pillow" and "cruising in the Kharma Ghia."

Isaac's Soccer Season

I am posting some really great action shots of Isaac in his first soccer season. Out of all the sports my two little ones have been a part of, I like soccer best. At least there is always action back and forth, and I don't have to watch anyone play in the outfield grass and pick their nose. Basketball is my second fav.



Upward basketball and soccer associations are also my favorites because there is equal play time and a policy of not keeping score with the younger teams. Of course, they always know who wins, but at least there isn't a coach on the side lines yelling at them for missing the ball. Or, as we experienced in t-ball, a coach who just never let one of my darling children do anything but stand in the outfield where he was already bored. But enough of my soap box.





This first one is his Game Face.

Determination and Dedication. Do you feel the intensity?

Isaac likes throwing the ball in the best. That way he is positive to touch it at least once during the game. But he was actually pretty good at kicking too. After the first 42 throws, I think the coach put a ban on Isaac throwing in. It was definitely someone else's turn.