Tuesday, February 24, 2009

EMAIL?

Last week we were filling out paperwork at the Urologist. I was talking out loud as I filled out the stats. "Male or female", I said into the air. Aaron looked up at me and very confidently said..."Your female, I'm e-male."

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Spina Bifida Post

We drove to Plano yesterday to have our trusty Urologist take a look at why we can't get Aaron any more continent than he already is. Our major issue, in relation to the Spina Bifida that Aaron lives with, is our daily battle with pee and poop. The number 2 side of things is pretty well managed, but the last 4 months have been riddled with number 1 issues.


Aaron was given an urodynamic test. He was poked and prodded as 220 ccs of water was pushed into his bladder and electrodes were hooked to very unmentionable places. He was a little nervous about some of the electrodes but was very brave - even when his brother declared that they would hurt coming off!


Drum Roll, please. The stats are that his bladder holds just about as much as any other 6 year old bladder, but his sphincter muscle doesn't work at all. This means that any more surgery to tighten his bladder neck or put Deflux in his ureters is not going to help our little boy. Our options at this point are minimal.

We could completely block off the regular pee route and open another one by his belly button. Technically this would be done through surgery - not by Nathan or me. It would definitely fix the problem, but it would close off all other less invasive options. Or... we can wait until puberty and hope his prostrate will enlarge enough at that time to help him hold his urine longer. Or.... or we can hope to try a very new nerve rerouting surgery being tested here in the United States at Beaumont Hospital in Minnesota, (I think). It was created by a Chinese Surgeon named Xiao. Only about 8 children so far have had it done and results are still not completely conclusive.

Well, puberty is at least 7 years away and the rerouting surgery is no where near researched enough to be done on my little boy. Our Doc suggests to wait it out for awhile and we agree that doing nothing seems the best approach...for now.

I remember sitting in a church service about 4 years ago and hearing our Pastor relishing the turning point in which a parent no longer buys diapers or pullups. We have been buying those products since the year 2000 and it looks like we will continue to use them well into the next decade. I wonder if Huggies has some sort of most loyal customer reward? If so, I am sure we are in the running for the grand prize!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Little Surprises This Week

Since I have been so grumpy this week, I thought it would be good to take stock of the little surprises that this week offered.

So here is a list.

1. Isaac is continuing to ace his practice state tests and I am thinking that a commended performance is very probable. Yes, I know we all hate the those tests, but hey...no tutoring needed. Plus, it proves how smart he is!

2. He picked out the 5th Harry Potter for his Library book and he can actually read it and understands it. WOW!

3. Aaron came and asked me if he could make a Valentine's card for his teacher.

4. Nathan brought me a DP this afternoon since he took time off from work when I did not.

5. A plastic table cloth was given to me, so I don't have to wash mine all the time.

6. Nathan took care of getting the meds refilled - Thank You!

7. Lots of my students gave me Valentines!

Well, for such a yucky week, I don't think the list is too bad.

Happy Valentine's Day

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The State of the Family

There is a lot of talk on t.v. and the radio about the state of our economy. However, I believe more important is the State of the Family.


It is a constant struggle to keep schedules and obligations at a manageable level. These last couple of weeks, I have felt that the Stevens' are losing our battle. Each day is taken with the noble efforts to work and learn. Each evening has been taken up with other "noble" obligations such as college classes, boyscouts and basketball to name a few. Plus the daily tasks of taking care of a special needs child. I hate to even bring up the S.N. child thing, but it does change your existence. Time is monitored differently and extra brain power is used to make sure all goes well. As of right now all our noble enterprises and daily routine seem more like part of the list to be checked off at the end of the day.


I wonder how much is too much. Where does a family draw the line at the busyness? I used to listen to other families talk about this struggle and not feel the pressure of it myself. I thought it would be easy to draw our line, but I now understand. There is nothing on our busy list that seems frivolous. A well reasoned case can be made for each area of work. And so, the rat race scurries on.

I write this not to complain about my life, but to question it. I ask if this is what God meant for our daily lives. How do we make the most of the opportunities without sacrificing our family? Do I dream too big? What is really not important? How do we make the right decisions?

I do not have the answers to these questions. But I will search for them and in the mean time...

There is a pin prick of light at the end of the tunnel. I think it's called Spring Break. And it will be here in about 4 weeks. Until then, we will meet our obligations and our family will survive.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A Smooth Morning

It is amazing to me that February has come so swiftly. We are completely back into the swing of school and today was, once again, the EARLY MORNING. If I could type "early morning" in shaky scary letters, I would.

Each Tuesday, I begin mentally preparing for the early morning. I set out clothes, bags, etc. I resign myself to the fact that I will not be wearing make-up or doing my hair. I get ready for the parent/child showdown with the sleepy-eyed boys who hold fast to their covers as I pry them up to do their morning routine.

However, today it was not so scary. In fact, the word serene floats in my mind as I think of how smoothly this morning went. Nathan, the alarm clock, woke up Isaac and I wrangled Aaron out of bed and into the bathroom. All I said to Aaron was "Come on, it's our early morning" and the boy was moving. He wanted to go to out to breakfast. He knew that his new "Parenting with Love and Logic" mommy would not take him to a greasy fast food restaurant one minute after the deadline.

The deadline is where we leave no matter what, even if teeth aren't brushed, food isn't eaten and clothes aren't on. I refuse to hum above them and remind them to keep getting on with the routine. By the way, I have never actually had a child leave the house naked. In the last week or so, they have left the house looking rather frightening, but never unclothed. - Thank goodness.

Anyway, both boys were ready and in the car 5 minutes before my newly imposed deadline. I even got my makeup and hair done this morning.

I was impressed. I drove down the road smuggly saying to myself - see the parenting with Love and Logic really works. I am a mom in control. I have created expectations and they are being met. I have been calm and yet immovable. I have not hovered over them like a helicopter to get out the door. They now understand and respect the deadline. It is their responsibility. I am SuperMom.

In the middle of my elation a wave of realization hit me. We certainly did get out the door on time. The boys were perfect. I was not. All medications needed to keep Aaron's bladder relaxed and bacteria free were not taken and were left at home which was 20 minutes behind us. I winced knowing what this meant for my little boy. But, I shook it off and was thankful that at least missing the meds would only mean things would be a little messier.

My SuperMom bubble got deflated real quickly - but, hey, that's life.