I am sitting tonight in a hotel. I have called my children and husband and said I love them and miss them. I can't wait to see them again. As I sit here tonight, I think about the boys' sweet voices over the phone and how much I miss being able to take my hand and brush their hair or rub their backs.
I have thought about all the things that my loving husband has given me and sacrificed for me and my happiness. Too often, I do not tell him this. (Don't tell anyone, but I can be a bit critical)But he is perfect for me and I delight in his abilities, kindness and love.
Earlier today it struck me that I almost feel empty. I am so connected to my three Guys. I am proud of them, love them and at times I have been known to fight for them. I want happiness, love, and most of all for them to be right in God's will.
Tomorrow I will be back at home and I know I will sense the feeling of peace that comes over me knowing that the ones I love the most in the world are just a breath away.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Checking up on Grandma
About three Saturdays ago I was asked to make sure that my grandmother was doing ok. Mom and Dad were on a hiatus down south a little ways speaking at a conference. Since Grandma spends her week days alone, my mom didn't want her spending this particular Saturday alone as well.
At approximately 10:30, I made the short drive over to my parents house. I had been told the back door would be unlocked. I was to just walk in, check on things and perhaps make a little small talk. When I got to the back door, however, I found it locked up tight as a drum.
I knocked and hoped that Grandma might be able to hear me. As I stood at the backdoor I realized the inevitable. Grandma can't hear us across a table at dinner. She wasn't going to hear me knocking at the door. Perhaps she would hear a ultra loud new doorbell at the front of the house. Around the house, I trekked. I say trek because the bushes around the front walk are overwhelming and my parents can not seem to get them trimmed properly. When I finally rang the doorbell, I heard the chimes ringing from inside the house. I waited. And I waited. - Nothing, again.
Back around the house I went. This time I banged on the glass windows and the door. Still no movement from within the house. I was beginning to feel slightly panicky. After all, Grandma is old. What if her time had come on the day I was supposed to drop in. What would I do? I pushed those thoughts away and sallied up to her window. I could hear a faint droning inside and felt sure it was the t.v. I leaned over the prickly holly and knocked on the window. - Nothing- Not to be daunted (or have to tell my mother that I had not actually seen Grandma all day) I flattened myself next to the corner of the house and worked my way to the window, the prickly holly to my backside.
I reached the window and had the sudden thought that I might be able to open it from the outside. It might just be that the window would be unlocked here. As luck would have it, Grandma's window was unlocked and I began to push upward hoping to make entrance from the outside. As I pushed on the window, I looked in through the blinds to find Grandma on the phone. Part of me wanted to just let Grandma be, but then she was expecting my company, so I carried on trying to push open the window.
Well, I pushed a little too hard and the window fell inward knocking over a standing lamp. I was now leaning inside the house, holding up the window and trying to right the lamp. Grandma was still jabbering away on the phone. "Grandma", I yelled at the top of my lungs. I was maybe 24 inches from where she was sitting in her lazyboy. She was oblivious! I yelled at her again. And again. Still nothing, but I continued to yell in the hopes that something might change. Finally, she told her phone companion that she could hear what sounded like my boys at the front of the house. She hung up. I continued to yell, thinking that surely she would now hear me trying to get her attention while holding up the window only inches from her chair.
She lifted herself off the lazyboy and got her walker. To my amazement, she went towards the hallway. She still couldn't hear where the noise was coming from. By some sort of grace, at the door of her room, she turned to see her youngest granddaughter half in the room, holding up the window and lamp. Her only statement "My goodness! What are you doing there!?"
At approximately 10:30, I made the short drive over to my parents house. I had been told the back door would be unlocked. I was to just walk in, check on things and perhaps make a little small talk. When I got to the back door, however, I found it locked up tight as a drum.
I knocked and hoped that Grandma might be able to hear me. As I stood at the backdoor I realized the inevitable. Grandma can't hear us across a table at dinner. She wasn't going to hear me knocking at the door. Perhaps she would hear a ultra loud new doorbell at the front of the house. Around the house, I trekked. I say trek because the bushes around the front walk are overwhelming and my parents can not seem to get them trimmed properly. When I finally rang the doorbell, I heard the chimes ringing from inside the house. I waited. And I waited. - Nothing, again.
Back around the house I went. This time I banged on the glass windows and the door. Still no movement from within the house. I was beginning to feel slightly panicky. After all, Grandma is old. What if her time had come on the day I was supposed to drop in. What would I do? I pushed those thoughts away and sallied up to her window. I could hear a faint droning inside and felt sure it was the t.v. I leaned over the prickly holly and knocked on the window. - Nothing- Not to be daunted (or have to tell my mother that I had not actually seen Grandma all day) I flattened myself next to the corner of the house and worked my way to the window, the prickly holly to my backside.
I reached the window and had the sudden thought that I might be able to open it from the outside. It might just be that the window would be unlocked here. As luck would have it, Grandma's window was unlocked and I began to push upward hoping to make entrance from the outside. As I pushed on the window, I looked in through the blinds to find Grandma on the phone. Part of me wanted to just let Grandma be, but then she was expecting my company, so I carried on trying to push open the window.
Well, I pushed a little too hard and the window fell inward knocking over a standing lamp. I was now leaning inside the house, holding up the window and trying to right the lamp. Grandma was still jabbering away on the phone. "Grandma", I yelled at the top of my lungs. I was maybe 24 inches from where she was sitting in her lazyboy. She was oblivious! I yelled at her again. And again. Still nothing, but I continued to yell in the hopes that something might change. Finally, she told her phone companion that she could hear what sounded like my boys at the front of the house. She hung up. I continued to yell, thinking that surely she would now hear me trying to get her attention while holding up the window only inches from her chair.
She lifted herself off the lazyboy and got her walker. To my amazement, she went towards the hallway. She still couldn't hear where the noise was coming from. By some sort of grace, at the door of her room, she turned to see her youngest granddaughter half in the room, holding up the window and lamp. Her only statement "My goodness! What are you doing there!?"
Friday, September 19, 2008
Time
One of the best and worst things about time is that it passes - and quickly. When I read a nightly "chapter" to my boys time passes very fast. When I spend an evening with friends, time passes very fast. On Christmas day, time passes very fast. And this crazy busy week has passed by very fast!
Since my last post I have accomplished lesson plans, half of a graduate paper, and have helped to begin a 3rd grade project on Deserts. We have also, mostly finished the work on the rent house. At least, 7/8 of the house is painted, the house dusted and vaccuumed, paint scraped off counters and cabinets, light bulbs put in, new toilet seats have been attached and a door knob added to the bathroom door. In the least, I am feeling slightly accomplished.
Since my last post I have accomplished lesson plans, half of a graduate paper, and have helped to begin a 3rd grade project on Deserts. We have also, mostly finished the work on the rent house. At least, 7/8 of the house is painted, the house dusted and vaccuumed, paint scraped off counters and cabinets, light bulbs put in, new toilet seats have been attached and a door knob added to the bathroom door. In the least, I am feeling slightly accomplished.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
A Day in Our World
I feel like all my creative ability has dried up with the responsibilities that are now sitting upon my husband and me. Cute antedotes and funny happenings haven't stopped occurring around me, but the time to reflect and write about the humor has evaporated before my eyes. And of course, by the time I am able to reflect and write I can't remember what was so funny.
So to commemorate how crazy my life has been (be it my fault or not) here is a rundown of my week.
1. Wake up at 5:00 and am at school until 4:00 at least every day during the work week
2. Class on Monday until 9:00p.m.
3. Tuesday Cubscout meeting after school, soccer practice after school, and the Mayor gives a commodation to scouting, so of course we go.
4. Fill out paper work for scouting
5. Husband goes to paint the rent house again. - He has been painting nonstop since Sat. Morning. I get the boys to bed, make lunches, do homework with them, clean the house.
6. Wed. - more painting, I skive off choir and help clean the rent house, come home and get boys to bed, homework done, and reclean the my house.
7. Thursday hasn't happened yet, but I have already been warned that renters will move in around 7pm and we have until then to complete painting, cleaning, repairing odds and ends and mowing the lush jungle that was formerly known as the backyard. Of course we both will be at school until 4:00 and Nathan won't be in until after that sometime.
8. Friday - Husband works football game
9. Saturday - Soccer game and scouting event that will last all day
10. Sunday - Teach Sunday School, Cubsout planning meeting and I will probably be trying to do a ton of homework during the weekend that I haven't gotten to yet for my graduate school that I thought was such a great idea last June.
My question is this. What happened to the "Leave It To Beaver" world I thought was and adult's life when I was a kid? I remember wanting to be BIG so badly as a child. Now all I would like to do is go right back to kid-dom.
Anyway, cheers to survival and to keeping my chin up. :-)
So to commemorate how crazy my life has been (be it my fault or not) here is a rundown of my week.
1. Wake up at 5:00 and am at school until 4:00 at least every day during the work week
2. Class on Monday until 9:00p.m.
3. Tuesday Cubscout meeting after school, soccer practice after school, and the Mayor gives a commodation to scouting, so of course we go.
4. Fill out paper work for scouting
5. Husband goes to paint the rent house again. - He has been painting nonstop since Sat. Morning. I get the boys to bed, make lunches, do homework with them, clean the house.
6. Wed. - more painting, I skive off choir and help clean the rent house, come home and get boys to bed, homework done, and reclean the my house.
7. Thursday hasn't happened yet, but I have already been warned that renters will move in around 7pm and we have until then to complete painting, cleaning, repairing odds and ends and mowing the lush jungle that was formerly known as the backyard. Of course we both will be at school until 4:00 and Nathan won't be in until after that sometime.
8. Friday - Husband works football game
9. Saturday - Soccer game and scouting event that will last all day
10. Sunday - Teach Sunday School, Cubsout planning meeting and I will probably be trying to do a ton of homework during the weekend that I haven't gotten to yet for my graduate school that I thought was such a great idea last June.
My question is this. What happened to the "Leave It To Beaver" world I thought was and adult's life when I was a kid? I remember wanting to be BIG so badly as a child. Now all I would like to do is go right back to kid-dom.
Anyway, cheers to survival and to keeping my chin up. :-)
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Surgery Went Well
It has been a whirlwind weekend. We did the day surgery on Friday, Nathan worked a football game friday night, and since then he's been painting the inside of our rent house for all of Sat and Sun.
Now I is close to nine pm and I have finished making sure the boys' have their schoolwork in order. I still have lesson plans to do and my house isn't up to where I want the babysitter to see it tomorrow.
So, this is very short post to say that I am ecstatic about how easy this day surgery was. Aaron commented on it during our drive home. After all, the last time he went into surgery it was a four day stay in the hospital with many tubes to care for after. This time the Doc didn't even make an incision. He simply threaded all the needed materials strait up Aaron's penis and injected the Deflux strait into his urethra. The fact this can be done is simply amazing. Saturday we had great day. We were completely dry between three hour caths. Today, it didn't work so well, and I am wondering if we are still experiencing bladder spasms from the UTI. It is a wait and see game from here on out. I am just praying this works well enough to keep from having to eventually do a bladder augmentation.
Now I is close to nine pm and I have finished making sure the boys' have their schoolwork in order. I still have lesson plans to do and my house isn't up to where I want the babysitter to see it tomorrow.
So, this is very short post to say that I am ecstatic about how easy this day surgery was. Aaron commented on it during our drive home. After all, the last time he went into surgery it was a four day stay in the hospital with many tubes to care for after. This time the Doc didn't even make an incision. He simply threaded all the needed materials strait up Aaron's penis and injected the Deflux strait into his urethra. The fact this can be done is simply amazing. Saturday we had great day. We were completely dry between three hour caths. Today, it didn't work so well, and I am wondering if we are still experiencing bladder spasms from the UTI. It is a wait and see game from here on out. I am just praying this works well enough to keep from having to eventually do a bladder augmentation.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Aaron's Life 3
I realized tonight that I haven't blogged since Monday night and I left any would be readers hanging regarding Aaron's fate. Aaron has been on antibiotics since Tuesday for a UTI and will have day surgery tomorrow. Aaron will arrive at the hospital at 7 and should be in surgery at 9. The Dr. said it could be a short and 30 minutes or as long as 2 hours in the actual surgery. Hopefully, when all is said and done, Aaron will get an extra hour of dryness.
Isaac has gone to spend the night with Papa. He is very excited to have Papa take him to school tomorrow and eat lunch with him at school.
Of course, Aaron asked me when he got to spend the night with Papa. Papa joked that he could spend the night when Isaac went in for a surgery. Ha Ha Dad. I am sure Aaron will get his chance soon enough.
When we got home from dropping Isaac off, the first thing Aaron said was how much he wished Isaac was with us. It's nice to know that even though Aaron often looks for ways to fight with Isaac, he still loves him.
Thank you all for praying for Aaron tomorrow.
Isaac has gone to spend the night with Papa. He is very excited to have Papa take him to school tomorrow and eat lunch with him at school.
Of course, Aaron asked me when he got to spend the night with Papa. Papa joked that he could spend the night when Isaac went in for a surgery. Ha Ha Dad. I am sure Aaron will get his chance soon enough.
When we got home from dropping Isaac off, the first thing Aaron said was how much he wished Isaac was with us. It's nice to know that even though Aaron often looks for ways to fight with Isaac, he still loves him.
Thank you all for praying for Aaron tomorrow.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Aaron's Life 2
I am so excited. It looks like the preliminary urine culture was wrong and Aaron does have an urinary tract infection. Of course, I don't like him feeling bad or hurting in any way, but yippee, it's an easy fix.
Many questions are now raised as to whether he will have his surgery on Friday. I will need to call the dr. tomorrow. But it can always be rescheduled and I am still rejoicing in the small stuff.
Many questions are now raised as to whether he will have his surgery on Friday. I will need to call the dr. tomorrow. But it can always be rescheduled and I am still rejoicing in the small stuff.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Aaron's Life
In the midst of all the crazy schedule changes, early mornings, late evenings and hurried trips to well, everywhere, Aaron has been having a rough week bladder wise. Nathan and I have gone over Aaron's in take, out put, etc with a fine tooth comb so far and can't figure out where the problem is occuring. We took Aaron for a urinalysis this week too, but it came back fine. This is not the comfort people think it might be due to the fact that the symptoms persist and now there is no real reason. Plus, we will have a couple bad days and then a good day when things look like they are going well, and BOOM, back to a bad day.
His Urologist believes we need to wait a couple weeks to monitor his progress or regression. It seems that the symptoms could mean anything from schedule changes to a tethered Spinal Cord. This is also not comforting, since in the summer the only real schedule each day was that from what ever time we got up til bed was that we cathed every two hours. We just aren't scheduled people. So he is actually on a much more rigid schedule now.
At any rate, the ugly part of Spina Bifida is now raising its head. Aaron told me yesterday that he wants to go back to pullups all the time because he hates being wet. I just get frustrated that we can't pin point a reason. A feeling of helplessness keeps trying to wedge its way into my brain. But, I will persevere and not let it get to me .
So there is nothing to do but wait and see and pray. Aaron is also having day surgery on Friday to try and elongate our times between potty. I would appreciate prays for that, too. It is always scary to be put under. This will be Aaron's 6th time, I think. He will have an injection into his urethra. I am not sure what that does, except hopefully give us another hour before heading to the bathroom again.
Thanks for praying for us this week. I will definitely post and let everyone know how it went.
His Urologist believes we need to wait a couple weeks to monitor his progress or regression. It seems that the symptoms could mean anything from schedule changes to a tethered Spinal Cord. This is also not comforting, since in the summer the only real schedule each day was that from what ever time we got up til bed was that we cathed every two hours. We just aren't scheduled people. So he is actually on a much more rigid schedule now.
At any rate, the ugly part of Spina Bifida is now raising its head. Aaron told me yesterday that he wants to go back to pullups all the time because he hates being wet. I just get frustrated that we can't pin point a reason. A feeling of helplessness keeps trying to wedge its way into my brain. But, I will persevere and not let it get to me .
So there is nothing to do but wait and see and pray. Aaron is also having day surgery on Friday to try and elongate our times between potty. I would appreciate prays for that, too. It is always scary to be put under. This will be Aaron's 6th time, I think. He will have an injection into his urethra. I am not sure what that does, except hopefully give us another hour before heading to the bathroom again.
Thanks for praying for us this week. I will definitely post and let everyone know how it went.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Vaccuuming in a Whole New Way
Jasmine has been in our family since I was 15 or 16 years old. That makes her a very old cat. With age has come problems. Her back hurts her very much and so she can't clean herself like she used to. She also will not have anyone touch her back without much hissing and carrying on. So, yesterday my mom found a fix for the grooming problem that has developed. Please view her cat grooming ingenuity.
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